Census: 2021 felt like 'going on a date in your 30s'
Steve Allen, comedian
- Credit: PA
Did you enjoy the census? I hope you did because it doesn’t come round very often. Even the Olympics is every four years but we have to wait a full decade between census days.
We have had the duty, nay, honour, of filling in our forms. I did mine online and it wasn’t too bad at all. I think I’ve been asked more personal questions to log onto some coffee shops’ WiFi.
Yes, they could probably streamline it further. I think I was asked five times about who was staying with me on Sunday. It started to feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t.
It soon settled into the classic questions probing me about if I own my own home and asking me about my job title. It felt like going on a date in your 30s.
On the topic of age, maybe I was being oversensitive but I noticed that it asked for my date of birth and in the next question double-checked my age. Was the system shocked at how old I am?
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I decided to pretend it asked twice because I look so young.
Or maybe it thought I acted young because when it asked “which of the following best describes your sexual orientation?”, I typed in: “Hopeful."
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- 2 Chadwell Heath death: Barking man charged with murder of Maria Rawlings
- 3 Footage issued of man sought in Maria Rawlings murder investigation
- 4 New councillors for Loxford and Seven Kings react to by-election wins
- 5 Barking man appears in court charged with mother-of-two's murder
- 6 Ilford care home turned into studio flats for rough sleepers
- 7 Murder probe launched after mother-of-two’s body found in Chadwell Heath
- 8 Cannabis and rambo knife sniffed out by police dog in Gants Hill bust
- 9 Plans for three year extension to scheme targeting people using prostitutes
- 10 'No stone will be left unturned' to find killer of Maria Jane Rawlings
I also enjoyed when it asked: “In the last seven days, were you doing any of the following?”
You can presume it’s a no. Unless you have an option for, “Watching Netflix and Facebook searching for exes,” then no, I wasn’t.
To ask that while also asking “have you achieved a qualification at degree level or above?” really felt like they were trying to make a point that I hadn’t achieved much with my life. At least I get round to doing things more than once a decade.