Viewpoint: A country felled by suggestion of snow

PUBLISHED: 12:00 03 March 2018


We all know the UK is snow-phobic. The nation that won a healthy proportion of the wars and battles it had throughout history is brought to its knees by a little bit of snow.

It’s one of the reasons I don’t understand people on social media calling the young “snowflakes”. You’ve named them after the one thing that can totally seize control of the country.

If it starts to snow there’s panic buying. If it starts to settle people lock up the doors and refuse to go out. This time, however, the weather had a different effect.

The Beast from the East, which is the tabloid name given to the snow, and if you add the word Midlands to the end of it, my old wrestling name, caused trains to be cancelled BEFORE it had arrived.

I was stood at Stratford station on Monday when the tannoy told me the trains would stop at 2300 hours.

If they had said 11pm it would have been less scary but 2300 hours felt terrifying. Southeastern trains were telling people to be home by 6pm. Why, was it this year’s purge?

Instead of failing to run trains in the bad weather they opted for a preemptive failure.

I look forward to the summer when the train companies pull their service in case the tracks might warp or the autumn when the trains are cancelled due to “threat of leaves”.

We might as well rebrand trains as daffodils as the only time you’ll see them is for a few weeks near spring.

I watched Darkest Hour recently.

We have gone from a country that would not give in to a country felled by snow and now a country stopped by the suggestion there might be snow.

Don’t let our enemies read this. If they infiltrate the Met Office we’re doomed.

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