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Opinion: A look at the issues of today

PUBLISHED: 12:00 05 January 2019

Comedian and broadcaster Steve Allen.

Comedian and broadcaster Steve Allen.

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I’ll be spending my holiday in Gatwick

As we head into January you’ll notice adverts for holidays starting to crop up because if there’s one thing that will make you feel like packing a case and flying away somewhere it’s spending extra time with your family over Christmas.

People are starting to think about the destination, where would you want to go on holiday.

I have picked Gatwick. Not as the place to fly from, I have booked two weeks in the Holiday Inn by the South Terminal. That way when a drone or some problem with the copy of Windows 95 they have running the place grounds all flights I won’t be disappointed.

The adverts are getting more adventurous though, with a sponsorship deal with English football club Blyth Spartans that says, “Visit North Korea”!

That’s their tourism slogan, and not, apparently, an insult to someone you never want to see again.

The team, based just north of Newcastle upon Tyne, Northumberland, have a deal to promote North Korea as a place to holiday.

Barren, notoriously primitive and unwelcoming to strangers, Northumberland is in the north of England.

It seems wrong to do a joke about people in the north living in poverty, but even the football team is “spartan”. They don’t have a lot up there.

I’m from the north and some people I grew up with think I’m in a mixed relationship because my other half says “Barth”.

I suppose, when the flight lands and the tourists see the levels of depravity that are rumoured to be present in North Korea it’ll be nice to hear them say, “Aw way man, y’nar, it’s just like being at home, pet.”

I’ve looked online and it’s not that easy to get a flight there.

One was around £700 and to book a return flight you need... well, optimism.

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