Search

A look at issues of today: Shower shortages, not in this weather

PUBLISHED: 12:00 28 July 2018

Time FM Steve Allen.

Time FM Steve Allen.

Archant

The heatwave has brought some lovely effects.

It’s been nice to not have to carry an umbrella with you everywhere like you normally have to do in the UK.

Instead we had had to carry a parasol, which is basically the same thing.

On the plus side there’s been a lot of flesh on show but on the downside there’s been a lot of flesh on show. It goes both ways.

You know that anxiety dream many of us get where you turn up to work naked? Turns out it’s actually worse when it’s the other people around you who do it.

The bigger downside is the hosepipe ban.

Water chiefs have told some households that to save water they need to only spend four minutes in the shower.

People weren’t happy. One women tweeted them saying, “Four minutes? For a man maybe,” followed by the crying with laughter emoji.

Don’t use the crying emojis, that’s a waste of water too.

Even as a man I can’t have a four minute shower.

Well, I could but I’d only have a third of my body washed.

This is why it makes no sense. There’s been a heatwave, if there’s one thing people who have been sweating in the heat need to do is make sure they wash more.

The company, United Utilities, has been accused of losing 453 million litres a day from its own pipes but they’re telling people to hurry up in the bathroom.

So here’s what they should do, they should tell us where all the leaks are so we can go and stand under them and have nice long showers there.

OK, they’d be cold showers, but we could do with that after seeing so much flesh in the last few weeks.

Follow @MrStevenallen on Twitter.


If you value what this story gives you, please consider supporting the Ilford Recorder. Click the link in the orange box above for details.

Become a supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Latest from the Ilford Recorder