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A look at issues of today: Wake up and smell the coffee – but take care

PUBLISHED: 12:00 28 April 2018

Archant

I have recently returned from a little tour doing stand-up in Croatia.

A lot of the locals thought I was an American.

I suppose I was shouting a lot and craving attention, but they associate the English language with the USA more than England now because of the TV and films they get.

I am proud to not be from America as this week they announced that in California they are bringing in a law that means coffee will have to come with a health warning.

You’re kidding me.

They should put a health warning on not drinking coffee.

If I don’t get some bean I am danger to myself and others.

A judge has ruled that coffee companies across the state will have to carry a warning label because of a carcinogen that is present in the brewed beverage.

That’s even worse than the warning labels we have over here, the ones that say, “Caution: Hot”. How is that a caution? It’s what you’d expect.

If you just bought a hot drink that you saw made with hot water and steamed milk and you poured it right into your own lap, you’re an idiot. That warning label should be on you.

Experts in the court stated that there is no evidence that coffee is bad for you but a chemical, called acrylamide, is present in small amounts so the labels go on.

Warning signs by cliff edges, low doors or sharp things make sense but it can go too far.

Anything can harm you if you’re unlucky. You can’t put labels on everything. Paper can give you paper cuts, so we’ll end up putting warning signs on the warning signs.

Stop these do-gooders now, tell them to get real, to wake up and smell the coffee.

They’ll probably need safety goggles first.


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